How do you know it's time to quit your job?

I've been reading Build: An Unorthodox Guide to Making Things Worth Making and the "I Quit" chapter got me reflecting a bit on my own decisions to quit throughout my career as a software engineer. I've quit 3 jobs in my career and it's likely I'll quit more in the future so I think having a set of rules / principles to follow for such an impactful decision are important.

Moreover I've seen cases where people are scared of quitting and stay too long or are too trigger happy and quit too soon so I think people may find this framework valuable as well.

Anyway here's what Build says about when it's time to quit and some of my own thoughts on when and how to make this decision.

How to know when to quit according to Build

Build says there are 2 reason to quit:

1. "You're no longer passionate about the mission." You're staying for the paycheck / title but every day is a drag.

2. "You've tried everything." You still believe in the mission but things keep getting in your way, you've tried to work with managers / partners to solve these problems but it's just not going anywhere.

When both are true it may be time to quit. Not all at once and not in a fit of rage but calmly and solidly.

When to quit according to me

I think these guidelines are pretty good but we can modify it a bit to be more precise.

You're no longer passionate about the mission and position.

I actually think it's okay for a lot of people to not be super passionate about the mission and instead just like the position. Oftentimes what people are actually passionate about doing in their lives is not work related so it doesn't make sense to find passion in the work but rather find work that leaves room for you to pursue your passion.

More on this: How to find a fulfilling career - no matter what you're into.

On the other hand I think it's maybe okay to be passionate about the mission but not the position. Oftentimes entry-level roles are kind of like this - whether you are new in your career or just new in the industry - as you need a stepping stone to build up the experience necessary to get the role you are shooting for.

So I think if one of these is missing that can be okay if it fits the rest of your life. But if it doesn't or both are missing then it may be worthwhile to take a look at making a change.

And when in doubt, I like this line from the book:

Hating your job is never worth the money.

Hating your job is never worth whatever raise, title, or perks they throw at you to stay

Staying sensitive to this principle can help guard against staying somewhere you don't like for too long.

You've tried everything to make your current position work for at least a few months.

As we look to make a change we should take a look at internal opportunities before jumping to external opportunities.

Often a lot of the things we don't like in a job are sources of friction in our day-to-day lives. Many times we actually have a lot of control / opportunities to solve for these sources of friction close at hand.

In your career / role you could:

• Switch projects / teams
• Work with team to improve process for some annoying thing
• Create a plan for mentorship / promotions
• Set direction for your team / org so it makes more sense
• Stop working with that person / team (you know who they are)

And sometimes the friction actually comes from conflict between your personal and professional lives in which case you might be able to work something out:

• Time: Work with manager / HR to get more flexible hours, PTO
• Location: Get WFH a few days a week or Zoom / Slack those meetings / updates
• Energy: Take care of yourself. Eat, sleep, exercise, and enjoy interests outside of work. Don't make your whole life about work cause it will let you down - instead find what makes life fulfilling to you and do that.

Try these things first because they can be very effective and you're already there so might as well try to fix it. It's possible the position you're looking for was right under your nose the whole time and just needed a bit of tweaking / asking around to find.

But if you have tried these things, you have worked with your manager / skip / hr to do these things and change seems unlikely to happen in a reasonable amount of time (change can take weeks-months to see impact sometimes) then it might be time to look at making a change.

Being sensitive to this principle can help guard against being too trigger happy and leaving jobs before you've given them a full chance and potentially needing to ask for your old job back months later when you realize how good you had it.

You reasonably believe there's a better position out there.

Build talks about this in the chapter body but avoids raising this to a third principle. I am also hesitant to do this as I think this is one of the big reasons people stay too long in a position that is suboptimal. But I do think it's important to consider and worth keeping in mind.

At the end of the day a job is a job and the reason they pay you to do it is because other people won't do it for free. This basically means that no job is going to be the most fun, fulfilling thing you've ever done because otherwise people would do it for free - and they don't. So if this is what you're looking for you might be out of luck.

Separately a job is more than just a mission or a paycheck. It may also mean stability. If you have a family or loved ones that depend on you for things like a roof over your head or health insurance then you need to keep that in mind as well. Some jobs may not be the most engaging or fulfilling but offer other benefits that when balanced out lead to a net positive.

You also need to take a look at the current market conditions and experiences of others in roles you're targeting. If the market is down or other roles don't seem to have significantly better experiences then it's possible making a switch won't actually improve what you're looking for. At those times it's worth taking a look inward to see if these are really the things you value because it's possible this role / market can't support them and you may need to choose a different direction entirely.

From the book:

Don't get trapped. Just because you don't know of any other better options doesn't mean they don't exist. There is other money. There are other jobs.

Just note that they may not come in the size or shape you were searching for. Sometimes that's okay and may be the change you were actually looking for but sometimes it's not and that's okay, too.

Again this principle needs to be taken with a grain of salt because it really depends on the context for how useful it is. It biases more towards staying - to see if you can make the current position work and do some research to see if another position might be better BEFORE leaving. But I think it's useful to force a big picture view of the role and because if you also believe this about your role then it's pretty clear a change seems valuable.

Staying sensitive to this principle helps avoid leaving too soon and from moving to a role that exhibits similar patterns to those you tried to leave in the first place thus repeating the cycle.

How to know it's time to quit your job?

I think the first sign is that you're asking this question. It's normal to do this after a hard week or a disappointing result. But if you find yourself asking this question for weeks and months on end it's worth taking it seriously so you can take charge of the decision - not have it thrust on you in the form of burnout or unbearable conditions.

So if you're asking this, consider:

• Are you still passionate about the mission or position?
• Have you tried everything to make your position work for at least a few months?
• Do you reasonably believe there's a better position out there?

And start acting now. Consider why you're asking these questions in the first place and write down those concerns. Start experimenting with changes in your day-to-day, bring concerns and solutions to your manager / teams to start floating ideas and making changes early, and push to wrap up your projects and try new ones. Push for the changes you want to see and give it several weeks / months to see if it's having the impact you want.

• Best case: You wrap up your projects, solve all your problems, and make it a better place for everyone
• Worst case: You did what you could and can confidently say it's time.

Sometimes you'll just know it's time. That's okay, too.

Sometimes all the calculations, negotiations, discussions with your manager and meetings with HR are entirely beside the point. Sometimes it's just time to go. And when that moment comes you'll probably know. Quit and go do something you'll love.

Next

Quitting is never a happy subject to talk about. But unless you're very lucky or very persistent it's something we'll all go through in our lives. So having a framework for it is useful to add a little bit of stability, balance to what may be a difficult, emotional decision.

I'm only partially through Build: An Unorthodox Guide to Making Things Worth Making but so far I like it. It's more of an essay anthology than a story book so not very gripping but I've found many of the essays ring true and a few are pretty insightful. Worth picking up if you're into learning about tech careers.

If you liked this post you might also like:

• How to find a fulfilling career - no matter what you're into
• My journey from Software Engineer to Entrepreneur and back again
• Why F# is a fun programming language