2021 Review

Date: 2022-01-03 | reviews | reflections |

I regularly reflect on my life - my goals and aspirations, my systems and habits, and my respective progress and diligence. I find these reflections help me to understand myself, the world around me, and how we intersect - providing a foundation from which to ponder, plan, and execute the next steps of my journey. I publish these reflections on my blog as a way to hold myself accountable, stay in touch with reality, and provide an autobiographical history of Ham. Enter: The Hamniverse.

2021 has come and gone. But I feel like 2020 just started.

Logically I know the time has passed. The passing of seasons, going on trips, posting reflections. But it doesn't feel like much has.

It's times like these that I find this act of reflection so important. To take stock and ownership of the passing of time. An intentional act to thwart its want to slip by unaccounted for - taken for granted.

2021 felt like a long hangover from 2020. I've had a general feeling of malaise - a state of languish. Not bad. Not good. Just. Passive. I assumed this feeling would go away with time.

Grab a coffee, a bagel, some OJ. Get a lot of sleep. You'll feel better tomorrow.

But at the 1 year mark of this malaise it's only logical to mark this hypothesis as false. It is not temporary. It won't resolve itself. It requires active adaptation and response - actions I've actively abstained from.

As 2021 comes to a close it's time to mark a new normal - a new baseline for my hedonic adaptation.

We're here. It happened. Move on.

In 2021 I learned how to ski, refactored HamForGood into an investment fund, reached a 60.6% savings commitment rate, incorporated HAMY LABS, learned 3D, reached 70,636 unique viewers, ran / (virtual) biked 340 miles, moved into a new apartment, and celebrated 2 years.

This is my 2021 in review.


Mission: Build a strong foundation.

Success Metrics

  • Best Self: 5 / 10

I was not my best Self in 2021. I largely attribute this to an external shift in my locus of control and the resulting consequences of that mindset.

As I observed problems and inefficiencies, I opted out of acknowledging their existence and dealing with them. This led to long periods of willful neglect - a "this is fine" attitude.

The uncomfortable truth is that it was fine. My systems and privilege have allowed me to lead a life of low maintenance and passivity while still enjoying a high Quality of Life.

But fine isn't good - and it's not good enough for me. It's not who I want to be and doesn't meet my standards for myself. I don't want to be "fine", I want to be my best Self. This wasn't / isn't it.


Mission: Cultivate a peaceful, present, growing mind.

Success Metrics

  • Peace and Presence: 6 / 10

Tracking Metrics

  • Daily Meditations: NO DATA
  • Daily Review + Journal: NO DATA

I think a peaceful and present mind is necessary to effectively operate in the world and, further, for me to lead the life I want to live. I have a habit of retreating into my own mind - from reality, from others - which makes this an important Domain for me to manage to achieve ideal Self.

A quote I like about mindset:

"Peace is happiness at rest, and happiness is peace in motion. You can convert peace to happiness any time you want." - Naval

I found that some of the goals I was setting myself around external metrics were actively pushing me towards an external locus of control resulting in a more passive mindset. To combat this I've added tracking metrics focused on measuring my personal inputs to each Domain.

The idea is to put more weight on things I can control vs those I can't - both to shift locus of control inward and to buffer my inner peace from external factors. I still think it's important to track success of endeavors based on the impact you want to achieve - so if that impact is an external factor then that's what you have to goal on. However you shouldn't let that shift your locus of control external or hide the fact that inputs are necessary to achieve anything.

I hypothesize a way for guarding against this is to directly measure inputs in addition to target outputs. So that's what I've done.


Mission: Build a core of meaningful, positive energy.

Tracking Metrics

  • Positivity: 1 / 1
  • Excitement: 0 / 1
  • Malaise: 1 / 1

I'm still figuring out this Spirit Domain but I believe I'm failing at it. I haven't been excited about much, much of which I attribute to my general malaise and passivity.

Digging in further, I think a lot of this malaise is rooted in a long-term void in my Adventure Domain.

  • I have not been intentionally adventuring
  • I have not been intentionally exploring
  • I have not been intentionally connecting

Instead I've been pouring hours into solitary Career, Projects, and Contumption pursuits - and using them as excuses not to be adventuring. For those adventures, explorations, and connections I have done I have not been fully present.

All of this I think leads to a vicious cycle of no adventure -> no excitement -> no adventure.

This is at the top of my list for things I want to course correct in 2022 as a positive, exciting life seems objectively better than one that is not. On the bright side I am feeling pretty positive as this seems like an easy problem to solve - and I'm at least good at that.

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Mission: Build a team. Lead our best lives.

I'm still figuring out this whole relationship thing.

  • It defies logic
  • It doesn't fit nicely into my Domains
  • It's the only Domain I have where success isn't solely driven by me

But that makes it all the more important for me to reflect on this facet of my life as it really is a huge part of it. I believe anything of sufficient importance should be managed mindfully and intentionally (read: actively) to give it the best chance of success.

In 2021 Megna and I celebrated 2 years. Over the past year there are a few insights I've had that I'd like to take forward with me.

  • A Partnership is only as strong as its members. As I've drifted away from my ideal Self this year, a lot of my thoughts have been on the personal impacts of these inefficiencies - missed goals, missed opportunites, missed experiences. But I think that's no longer sufficiently comprehensive. A Partnership is about shared experience - the highs, the lows, and the inbetweens. As I've failed to live up to my best self, so too have I implicitly prevented my Partnership from being its best. This implicit responsibility was not intuitive to me and is something I want to be mindful of moving forward. It's okay to stumble for awhile but at some point you have to lift your share.
  • Partnership is a verb. As with many of my Domains this year, I took a passive approach to Partnership. This is a breach of contract. Just as you can't call yourself an ally of x and not actively ally yourself with x, so too can you not partner with y if you aren't actively partnering with y. In my case I want to be more mindful and intentional in my relationship - particularly around active reflection and showing appreciation. This work will never be done (as Jen aptly put it "it's the eternal goal") but I think it's worth it.
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Me enjoying my new place!!1


One of the highlights (and short-term lowlights) of my year was moving to a new apartment.

As is typical of a New Yorker, I've moved about once a year since I got here (my fourth move in as many years). As is typical, moving was a huge pain - it costs a lot, it takes a lot of time, and I'm still not sure if it ever ends.

The front desk knows us as those kids with all the packages and Megna set 2022 goals on improving the apartment so I guess we're not done yet.

That said, this move was a bit atypical as the plan is to stay in this place for several years (contrary to the typical one-apartment-per-year cadence). This brought some interesting challenges and opportunities as we approached this move with a longer-term vision.

  • Bought real furniture to last
  • (Megna) Hired an interior designer
  • Built an office for myself (no Megnas allowed)
  • Invested in home workout equipment

The new place is great and we even joked that we could weather another 2020-eque lockdown with ease. I don't know if that's true or not and I'd prefer not to tempt fate, but it's been a constant positive this past month (even when I got COVID!) and I'm at least grateful for that.


Mission: Build a strong physical vessel for a happy, healthy, and impactful life. Be a fit old Ham.

Success Metrics

  • Body Feel: 7 / 10
  • Abs: 4 / 6

Tracking Metrics

  • Resting Heart Rate: 51 / 50
  • ExercisesPerDay (2021): 60.3%

Over the past few years my relationship with my body and exercise has shifted. I've always been self-conscious of my body so built systems to manage it.

These days I'm more content to maintain my body than push it. I don't 'max out' or set weight / rep related goals for exercise. Instead, I'm more focused on the outcomes I want to achieve - a healthy, good looking body - and base line inputs I've found help me to get there - ~30+ minutes of exercise, 5 days a week.

Partially I think this shift in perspective is due to more data and experience around how my inputs lead to body outputs. I have a pretty standard workout regiment that gets reasonable results. I've found that working a lot harder / being more rigid doesn't return that much more results wrt my body goals.

I also think that being in a stable, long-term relationship has further shifted my value proposition for exercise - both in what I'm trying to achieve and what I'm willing to invest to get there. In some ways I think of this shift as complacency but in others I think it may be a healthier approach and outlook on my body.

This mindset shift has allowed me to deprioritize exercise a bit which in turn has allowed me to invest my time (and money) more efficiently in other Domains.

  • I stopped my 1400-1600 weekday Longevity Infrastructure Formation Training (L.I.F.T.) holds and shifted to a 90 minute window around 1730 each day
    • This has led to greater focus at work and a more casually-paced workouts (though potentially may have led to decreased effectiveness and contributed some to burnout)
  • I dropped my Equinox membership (my Finances thank me) in favor of at-home workouts (now more effective due to the extra space afforded me by the new place) which has made them more accessible and time-efficient
  • I now often exercise while watching TV / doing something else which is perhaps less effective exercise-wise, but meshes better with my daily routines so again has upside in accessibility. I even got a stationary bike positioned in front of my 65" TV!

Strava stats 2021

Strava stats 2021

I'm certainly at my lowest level of physical fitness in the past decade. But I think that's okay. I want to do a little more, but not at the expense of other Domains.

In 2022 I want to:

  • Run a little more
  • Lift a little more
  • Do more yoga / cross-training


Mission: Grow my quality of life, stability, freedom, and ability to make change through wealth by achieving Financial Independence.

Success Metrics

Spending breakdown by category

Spending breakdown by category

In 2021 I spent a lot of money.

  • Trips - skiing, domestic, and international travel
  • Moving - moving costs, new furniture, up-front housing payments, all those random things you somehow lose / need in a new place
  • Materialistic upgrades - new workstation + film studio, wardrobe overhaul, jewelry
  • Things I love - a coffee and bagel each morning (yes, I have a budget category just for 'BECFFEE' and love it so much I made it an NFT)
  • Health - joining (then canceling) Equinox, purchasing at-home gym equipment
  • Taxes - an incredibly large tax bill =((((

The amount of money I spent this year was egregious. But it's also within my means, if not within my formal budget.

As I've lived more life I've come to believe that there's an optimal balance with money.

  • You must measure and manage it
  • The ultimate goal is to have it so under control that you no longer need to worry about it

I've reached a good equilibrium like this in the past few years. I still regularly manage my finances but I'm not worried about it. That's a freedom I've implicitly been chasing (hence my FIRE goals) but only recently realized is a core value and that I may be close to achieving it - if I'm willing to let go a bit.

Moreover I've become more solid in my belief that value is not rooted in monetary attachments. And yes, I realize that this is a very privileged thing to say. Instead the true value is in one's satisfaction of life. Thus the true purpose of money is to utilize it to maximize your satisfactions - oft by divesting from things that don't bring you joy and investing in things that do. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this shares a core principle with many life philosophies / practices I consume - minimalism, FIRE, stoicism, and meditation.

Of course I'm still constantly vigilant about the hedonic treadmill - that's one thing I don't think you can safely not worry about due to its innate presence in human nature. Despite this vigilance, I have seen increased spending over my initial estimates and budgets over the past 2 years. Given this new state of the world and my more lax approach to Finance I decided to tweak my financial strategy and Domain.

I increased my projected yearly expenses by 25% to match data of recent years. This of course led to an increase in my FIRE number and decrease in my current % FI (by about 7.5%). While ideally expenses would stay static over time, that's often not the case. While unfortunate (you never want to go negative), it's more important to be negative and accurate than positive and false.

% FI over time

% FI over time

Changed target savings commitment rate to 60% then back to 65%. In November I was over the saving thing so I moved my target rate from 65% to 60%. But reviewing the numbers, I spent an egregious amount this year and still hit 60% so I feel like anything less than the 65% goal (which I've never actually achieved) is just inviting hedonic adaptation. Also I like 65% because it's roughly the rate you need to achieve FI in 10 years.

Savings Commitment Rate over time

Savings Commitment Rate over time

Despite the increased spending, my savings commitment rate has been relatively stable over the past few years - so while I'm spending more, it's good to see I'm not necessarily spending a higher % of the money I'm earning. That said, if I keep the % at around the same even as I make more money, I'll miss out on the potential for compounding to speed up my progress to FI. So looking forward I really want to increase my %, not keep it the same.

My vision was to reach FI by 2025 but given current standings and rates of growth (of my spending lul #hedonictreadmill) and potential large expenditures in the near future, I'll probably have to readjust my outlook to sometime before 2030.

Other Finance updates:


Mission: Build a better world.

Tracking Metrics

  • Project Progress: 4 / 10
  • Projects Shipped: 4

I really hoped to accomplish a lot more in my Projects. But I didn't.


Mission: Discover, grow, and share ideas for a better world.

Success Metrics

Tracking Metrics

  • Shares published (HAMY.LABS + YouTube): 15

Viewers by Shares over time

Viewers by Shares over time

My YouTube has been the standout hit in Shares this year, bringing in 51% (36,131) of my 2021 views. I started YouTube in 2020 as a way to:

    1. Get more comfortable with public speaking
    1. Try to reach a wider audience with my existing content (mostly technical posts on HAMY.LABS)

Both have succeeded far more than I initially hypothesized.

Generally I share about topics I found hard to research, that I had to research in the course of building a project, and that I want to write about - then I write the post and create a video presenting the topic.

  • It's lightweight
  • It focuses on shares I think are valuable
  • These videos are returning 9.5x (36,131 YouTube views / 3,795 hamy labs views) more than their written counterparts

Top 5 Shares in 2021

I'm giving away NFTs of me drinking coffee for free as part of my video Create your own NFT in 2 minutes. Comment on the video with your wallet's public address and I'll send one over!

2022 Shares Goals

In 2021 I published semiregularly and saw some really large returns for the relatively small effort. In 2022 I want to try to leverage that momentum to get a leg up on some of my 5 and 10 year visions for Shares.

  • Monetize YouTube
  • 150k viewers (my estimate for monetization)


Mission: Explore, build, and share systems of the multiverse.

Success Metrics

  • Domain Explorations: 4

Tracking Metrics

  • Collaborations: 0
  • Exhibitions + Publications: 0

The more I tried to achieve in Art, the more I realized I didn't know.

The first thing I didn't know was 3D. I realized that I'd been drawn towards 3D and the possibilities it unlocked. Similarly, I found that many of the works I built in 2D were either constrained by or attempting to subvert their lack of 3D. So I figured I should just remove the constraint by learning it.

I tried that. It was hard. There are a lot of math and angles and physics and stuff that didn't exist in the simplified 2D environments I'd built before. So it follows that it took me awhile to figure it out - and I still haven't figured all of it out.

I undertook 3 domain explorations each focused on learning an aspect of 3D.

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  • Basic 3D generation and automation
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I learned a lot but man it's a whole multiverse out there and there's a lot more to explore. The Monoverse is my expedition route.

The next thing I realized was that I didn't really think through my initial Monolith vision and how it would actually function in practice. It was too complicated, too restricting, had too much overhead, etc, etc which all led me to... not want to do it. Moreover I found that the complicated rules were actually leading me to building things that were not inline with my project vision. So it had to change.

The new vision is simple:

  • Many Domains of exploration
    • Each with many Generative Engines
      • Each with many outputs

This I've dubbed The Monoverse. It's more generalized, simple, and seems to actually work in practice - which is the true test of any system.

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Oh and that numbering thing? I really like it so I'm like numbering everything now.

2022 Art Goals

Looking forward, I'm goaling this Domain on explorations, not any external response they receive. Goaling on external factors seems contrary to the mission of this Domain which is about exploration - a free-form, organic side of creation. The goal then is to do the exploration, whatever form that takes.

  • [Dream] Build 3D concept art (a la @artofniyas)
  • 5 Domain Explorations
  • 1 Collaboration (another form of exploration!)


Mission: Solve real problems. Make real money.

Success Metrics

  • Monthly Recurring Revenue: $0
  • Monthly Recurring Profit: $0

Tracking Metrics

  • Businesses Shipped: 0

I have shipped 0 businesses this year (if you don't count incorporating HAMY LABS, which I don't). Though not necessarily for lack of trying. Similar to Art, in the process of building I realized there were a lot of things I did not know. Primarily the knowledge gap was building a general SaaS app and the code to get me there.

Now the code itself is not overly complicated, but there is quite a bit of boilerplate involved. Once you have that code base, it seems relatively easy to port it over to another use case. But without said boilerplate... well you've got to get the code somehow.

So I've actually spent the past several months, off and on, putting together this core piece of boilerplate. It's pretty tedious, there's a lot of ground to cover, and it's super time consuming.

Now part of this I think is due to lack of experience in this area. While I've been a professional software engineer for at least 5 years now, I very rarely build apps from the ground up. I've basically always taken a system that's already running and improved upon it - that's the job that needed doing (and also the kinds of roles typically available at post-startup organizations). Moreover in my own Projects most of my apps were extremly lean - often with no authentication, integrations, money-handling, etc.

So really, this is the first full SaaS codebase I've built e2e ever. Which is kind of crazy coming from a self-proclaimed professional software engineer / technologist / entrepreneur!

I have a running metaphor I like to use for working at planet-scale companies like Meta / Instagram. It's kind of like you're a city planner or large construction architect - you know how the parts fit together, you're making changes to part of the project ecosystem that will have rippling effects across the domain, you're orchestrating the crews and plans and systems to work at their max efficiency.

But at that scale you don't really ever install a toilet, or run the wires around the ceiling to get the wall outlet working, or worry about what kind of nails you'll be using. Those decisions have often already been made and standardized - the most efficient layout for a bathroom, the optimal placement for wiring standard room types, the 3 standard options of nails. If you do find yourself making such a decision, the outcome will then be used across the entire city, across all its construction projects - not one single construction.

I think of smaller companies, particularly in their early stages more like small scale construction contractors building a house or neighborhood. At this scale you do have to think about all of these concerns (and know how to do them yourself) because these decisions have not been made, your practices have not been standardized, and often you have far less resources to delegate jobs to. Just to get a single house off the ground and habitable, you'll need to know scaffolding, plumbing, electricity, materials, roofing, etc. Each additional component you add - a porch, a bathroom, an entertainment center - brings with it a myriad of other skills you'll now need to know to add it.

Skills that as a city planner / large construction specialist I don't have.

I can build skyscrapers and optimize highways and plan city districts, but I can't build a house.

In the same way that:

I can optimize systems to handle billions of simultaneous workloads but I can't build a login or checkout.

On the bright side, I can learn to build a house and much of my knowledge is still applicable - just in different forms requiring a bit of engineering to translate scales. I know how stairs work for skyscrapers, but how do I fit it into this little house and make it buildable without a giant construction crew?

So I've been building my little SaaS. It's not hard but it is quite tedious and complicated and not super straightforward. Now I like to call myself a technologist and think I'm decent at coding so when I realized this I was like surely I'm not the only one with this problem. I also call myself an entrepreneur and think I know how to ideate a business (though maybe not yet build one) so I thought huh, maybe I can solve this for all of us.

So that's what I've been building this year. Some boilerplate SaaS so I don't have to deal with this tedium everytime I want to launch something. It's taken me awhile because I'm inexperienced, unproductive, and easily distracted - and there's a lot of work to do - but I'm pretty excited about it.

It's called CloudSeed and so far I have a landing page for you to look at (cause I still haven't built the checkout 🙈). Check it out.

2022 Business Goals

In 2022 I really just want to ship some stuff. I think CloudSeed is going to help me do that.

  • [Dream] HAMY LABS profitable
  • 5 businesses shipped


Mission: Make this world a better place.

Success Metrics

  • Given: $102.04
  • ActsForGood: 5

Tracking Metrics

  • $ Invested -> HamForGood Fund: $2,450
  • $ Total HamForGood Fund: $10,128

I decided I want to take a more active approach to making the world a better place. This is more aligned with my long-term vision of allocating more resources in this Domain. Also this means measuring more stuff cause that's how I #organize.

The first change is to goal on individual ActsForGood - which were largely inspired by Climate Reality Project's annual 10 Acts of Leadership commitment. As I've learned more about activism (through social media, news, and books like The Next American Revolution and All We Can Save) the more I've learned that the roles and actions involved in change-making come in all shapes, scents, flavors, textures, and sounds. Moreover that real change in complicated systems often takes a myriad of actions to come to fruition.

All to say that while donating is well and good it is not and cannot be the only action taken else change will not occur. I think we underestimate the power we have in direct action - and possibly shy away from that realization for the potential ownership and responsibility holding such power implies. This is my hypothesis and method to test it.

I didn't hit 10 this year but I also decided to do this in October so not too worried about it. Of note, I've decided that most of my Acts will be synergistic with my existing Domains. I don't believe it's necessary to go out of your way to have significant impact and hypothesize that impact is likely larger when you leverage synergies and advantages already at your disposal. We'll see.

Some acts

Now I still think donation is important. After all people need money to live and those people who work full-time towards change need money to eat, sleep, and make change. But I wanted to see if I could do better - could I make this practice more impactful and sustainable?

So I refactored HamForGood in an attempt to give greater, sustained support for good causes with the limited resources at my disposal. This is the first year I'm officially tracking HamForGood and its payouts because it's the first year it's ever had money at its disposal to payout.

The HamForGood Fund has grown quite a bit - all thanks to my personal donations and taxes for being a subpar Ham as HAMY LABS made $0 (I was subpar quite a lot this year, thus frequent donations).


Mission: Solve problems, improve the world, build a legend.

My career has been going well.

  • I've steadily improved in my roles
  • I got promoted for the first time
  • I'm working on interesting things that challenge me

I'm currently working on Instagram's media logging where we aim to provide accurate, efficient logging infra for product teams to understand how their media is consumed and how it performs. We work at extremely high scale (like trillions of data points a day), are crucial to the operations of the Instagram app, and work at the intersection of users, product teams, business teams, and infra teams. All of which makes for a pretty dynamic problem space.

This year I've done better at 'work smarter, not harder' - or otherwise using the same amount of effort to achieve much greater impact.

Some key insights that I think helped me get here:

  • Thoroughly understand the problem at hand first - particularly from the lens of the business and its stakeholders
  • Ruthlessly prioritize the most important problems and their best solutions
  • Problems are opportunities and opportunities are all around us

Doing so can often lead to a 10+% improvement in impact and value for effort, sometimes 10x. As I've said before, it often seems that a good strategy to provide value in large orgs is the same strategy for providing value in pre-org ideas - by using the current meta of entrepreneurship -> build a solution to a real problem to improve chances for success (or business = value = problem x solution x market)

Despite thinking I got better at 'working smarter, not harder' I still think I did the 'harder' part a bit much. This along with the inefficiencies in my other Domains led to a mild case of burnout - something I didn't realize til late November.

This led to more stress on me, less headspace, and ultimately a loss of presence, peace, and kindness for and from me. That's not who I want to be. It's not efficient and it's not conducive to me being my best self.

In 2022 I want to maintain momentum but I don't want to do it at the expense of my Self. The solution here I think is two-fold, reduce the overhead at work and ensure I'm taking care of myself first.


Mission: Experience Life.


I haven't been feeling very connected this year. Most of this is due to me succumbing to my reclusive proclivities and heavy investment in non-connection domains - Projects, Moving, Career among other excuses I tell myself.

I'm naturally and logically an introvert. More WFH and the lockdown void of 2020+ has regressed many of my social connections. And I haven't done much about it.

The truth is day-to-day I don't really feel the need to. I do things I enjoy and live full-time with my partner which provides a steady level of connection and social interaction - more than enough to satisfy and overflow my introvert-sized coffers.

But over time it becomes clear that that's not particularly healthy. My diagnosis for myself for my general malaise, lack of excitement, and overarching passivity is mostly that I'm bored and content.

My prescription: go do more things I enjoy (away from the computer!) with more people I enjoy. And do it with intention.

To you - my reader. I have not been a good connection. It's not personal, I haven't been a good connection to anyone recently. But that's something I'd like to change in 2022. It may be the most important thing I'd like to change in 2022.

I'm thinking of restarting Hamventures - my weekly adventure discovery I started back in 2018. I liked its simplicity and it got me excited to get out in the world.


Mission: Experience life from new perspectives.

While I haven't been feeling very connected, I don't think it's for lack of opportunities and connections that have presented themselves over the past year. Every time I look back on my adventures I'm grateful to have shared so many great experiences with so many people. And sometimes I wonder whether I'm just being ungrateful for the great connection opportunities people have shared with me.

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  • I learned how to ski
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  • Then went again
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  • And again (and didn't even get hurt!)
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  • I tried being a digital nomad around the SW with 4 friends in 1 car (read Megna's itinerary)
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  • Hit Miami
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  • Atlanta
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  • Brooklyn
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  • Coney Island
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  • NYC (the touristy part)
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  • Nashville
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  • Alaska
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  • Atlanta
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  • Pennsylvannia
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  • Tulum, Mexico


Let's hang. #2022ham #socialham #hamventurous


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